Perhaps I should go on living like I am now.  To this very day old girlfriends who are currently married or committed contact me in one way or another.  Whether it be email or facebook? (effen facebook!) Every once in a while, completely out of the blue, some old girl contacts me to chat me up.  Of course it’s all supposed to be on the up and up.  No improprieties here.  Riiiight.  Only a couple have had the intestinal fortitude to admit the truth about their reason for contacting me.  They’re bored as hell!  They long for the bad boy to come back and sweep them off their feet.  They want to be taken to a bar, gotten drunk and then who knows.  They want to completely give up control and become lost in a fantasy world of my making.  And in all honesty, I have more respect for the ones who admit the truth and dispense with the BS.  I have a feeling that they are the ones who will find a resolution to their problem one way or another. The majority of them however, just pretend like they want to see how I’ve been and “catch up.”  They think that I can’t see how pathetic they are reaching blindly for some type of excitement to get them to feel alive again.

Fast forward to me in a relationship that has progressed for a few months and see the other side of the coin.  Complacency starts building and after a ho hum night of frozen pizza and a movie rental, what comes next is all too predictable. I see her wondering, gazing, and imagining herself taking this relationship to the next step.  She thinks back to when it was new.  She thinks back to when she went on some spontaneous date.  I sit there and ponder the old days.  I ponder the nights when the unknown was always just around the corner.  The excitement is intoxicating.

Go ahead and call me immature.  Tell me a thousand times that I haven’t met the right one.  You see, High School never ends and when John Cougar said that life goes on after the thrill is gone, I didn’t understand what he meant because I was too young, but now I do.  I see a lot more people get married out of sheer giving up.  The basic realization that they are dying is to strong to ignore.  Desperation sets in and there is no alternative.  You may deny that death’s distant gaze does not faze you. You can reassure yourself that you’re still viable and you very well may be.  However, you become weary.  Encumbered by baggage your legs fail you and you reach out for a shoulder to prop you up.  Ironically, for the majority all you’ll do is delay the fall of two who are hobbled.  Had you stayed by yourself would you have found the strength to find yourself?

So yeah, maybe I don’t want to be your husband.  Maybe I’m not going to acknowledge that I’m done. Maybe I take a turn for the worse and show you that excitement lies just around the corner.

The Washington Times is running a story about Lisa McClelland a 15 year old high school student who wants to create a Caucasian Club at her high school. Many at the school support her efforts claiming that a Caucasian Club would be no different that the already existing African American and Latin clubs already at the school. Others oppose the club stating that such a club would fuel racial tension.

While at face value, there appears to be nothing wrong with the desire to create a Caucasian Club when you all sorts of other clubs based on race are allowed. The main reason sited in the story for creating the club is that the club “would focus attention on European heritage and history.” Strangely, the Washington Times story made no mention of the major oversight here. The implication that all Europeans are Caucasian is clearly wrong. Frankly, the attempt to pass this off with such a lame excuse is actually what makes the motive suspect. In all honesty had Ms.McClelland been straight forward and said that the club would focus on white heritage and history, it would be much more believable and worthy of consideration. Maybe a Scandinavian Club would suit the needs. Unfortunately, as with most attempts to veil incitement, it’s not fooling anyone except stupid people.

In an effort to determine what drives a hardcore digital pirate to commit these heinous crimes, I sought out a very prolific digital pirate for an interview and under the conditions of anonymity; he answered some of my questions.

1. Why do you pirate digital goods?

“Piracy is pretty much a hobby for me. Yeah, I could argue that it saves me money, but I probably would never have bought most of the stuff that I pirate anyways, so in essence, no harm, no foul.” There is also the part of me that says, screw those fat corporate pigs. They’re always trying to rip us off anyways. Companies are always putting out crap and overcharging for it. Then you have the Sony’s of the world. Not only are they putting out overpriced crap, they are also putting out software that damages its users.” But in the end, its pretty much just a hobby.

2. Do you realize that what you’re doing is wrong and amounts to stealing?

“Yes, and it’s actually part of the allure. It has a Robin Hood feel to it. Trust me, I won’t shed a tear for multinational companies. I think these big companies are a problem. They often operate in completely immoral ways and are obliged to by their stock holders. I see it like capitalism gone haywire.” For theses reasons, I actually feel good about what I’m doing. Yes, it is illegal, but from a moral standpoint, I feel completely justified.

3. Are you some kind of left wing activist?

“No, I’m not all that politically active, but the way I see it, any system gone to extremes is bad. Whether it’s right or left is irrelevant to me. Extremism is a no win situation, and the way I see corporations going around doing what they please by buying off politicians doesn’t sit well with me. It’s extremely corrupt.”

4. What will you do if you get sued?

“I have a pretty good feeling that I won’t get caught, so I haven’t even thought about it.”

5. If you could say something to a big music exec, what would it be?

“Well I certainly don’t feel like I can make fun of the guy. I mean these people are making more obscene amounts of money all the time. I don’t buy CD’s or DVD’s with copy protection, but it’s a drop in the bucket. They are making millions out of people who don’t know any better. So, I guess I really don’t want to say anything to him or her or it. I’ll go about my business and you go about yours.”

6. Do you think there is a solution to any of these problems that you see?

“Not really. Seems like there is no shortage of stupid people to keep the money machines rolling along. Contrary to what the companies say, piracy is a very small problem for them. As a matter of fact, I think they are actually making more money because of piracy. Settling law suits for a few thousand dollars a pop must be bringing in some hefty sums. I don’t have much faith in our justice system. So, it would take a popular movement to shut down RIAA extortion. I don’t see that happening. And if it does, it won’t be until things get even more outrageous. But I have hope. They are so greedy, that they might just take it too far. Far enough so that people finally say: “enough.”

7. So I get the impression that overall, you’re pretty pleased about being a pirate. Is this a fair assumption?

“Sure it is. Every time something new finishes downloading it’s like a little mini Christmas. I wake up in the morning and go over to my computer thinking, hmm let’s see what came it today. See, I have so much stuff coming in at one time, that I lose track. So when I go in to look at what is finished, it’s often a surprise. Yes, it’s quite fun.”

At this point, I thanked the pirate for his time and concluded the interview.

Then, the pirate interrupted me and wanted to add something. Here is what he said:

“Maybe I’ll sound like a grumpy old man, but whatever. Technology seems to be headed in the wrong direction. All this copyright, intellectual property, bullshit is just getting out of hand. The other day I heard that a company wants to patent seeds and make it illegal for anyone to plant them without paying them a royalty. I can’t tell you how this incensed me. Who the hell do these people think they are? I may not be around to see it, but one day, this whole house of cards will come down. I hope I’m there so I can laugh. I bet a lot of these pukes don’t think it could happen to them, but like I said before, if they continue to push things one day they may push too far and perhaps all these patents and copyrights won’t be worth a rat’s ass some day. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I think that people will get wise. Yeah, it may take years. Yes, things may need to get progressively worse. I think that one of the main things that need to happen is for corporate abuse to extend beyond technological areas. Once this happens many more people will become aware of what’s going on.”

Today I read this article and I was somewhat amused by it. It’s about perception problems in the workplace and how you should handle them. While there were a couple of useful suggestions in the article, I found alot of them to be somewhat silly and unrealistic. So, I have graciously amended some of these suggestions with what I feel to be more realistic ideas.

1. Do people at work think you’re lazy? Its going to take at least 1 year to change peoples perception of you and that will require a total 180 degree change on your part. Of course this 1 year period applies if you don’t get fired first. If I were you, which I’m glad I’m not, I would start looking for a new job where I can start from scratch.

2. Your coworkers think you’re unprofessional. This is very similar to item #1 in its level of hopelessness. These things basically seem to boil down to personality traits. Good luck changing you personality. These things are usually ingrained from years of living. Yes, it is possible to change your personality, but you’ll probably need help from some type of professional counselor.

3. Your coworkers think you’re a clown. There are two types of office clowns. The kind that everyone loves and the kind that everyone hates. Ok, so there are a few who lie in the middle ground. If you are the type of office clown that everyone loves, you are pretty much safe. You can expect to get standard raises and you can actually get away with doing less work as all your clowning around will be seen as morale building and this will alleviate your workload. However, if you are a disliked office clown; even if you are only moderately disliked, you are in grave danger. You should either stop clowning around and get some work done, or get better at it.

4. Your coworkers think you’re a party guy. This may or may not be a problem depending on your job. If you’re an engineer then you have a problem. Engineers are supposed to be nerds who are severely socially challenged. Engineers should ideally be borderline autistic. Kind of like Rain Man. The only types of engineers that can get away with being party guys are network, sound and train engineers. Period. If you’re a software, electrical, or computer engineer and you are a party guy, you picked the wrong major and your days are numbered pal. Of course, if you are not an engineer; say perhaps you are in sales or marketing. Then being a party guy is actually an asset. Everyone with any sense knows that the best sales people are wild partyers. Being socially adept is a necessity for sales people. The ability to con people into buying all sorts of useless crap comes from years of practice. Partiers have been practicing a lot more that you have. Don’t believe me, try having one of your socially anxious engineers sell something for you. You’ll see.

5. Your coworkers think you’re a womanizer. This falls into the exact same category as #4 and is basically just filler. If you have the game necessary to score the mad play from the lassies, then you’ll have a spot on just about any sales or marketing team. The art of persuasion is always in demand. If you are a woman and you are reading this(fat chance) sorry, this doesn’t apply to you. Yes, it’s a double standard that you will be seen as a slut and shunned by all. It’s not my fault, I just report what I see.

6. Your coworkers think you’re always late. Guess what. If your coworkers think that you are always late, its probably because you are always late. You have a couple of choices here. Change your lazy snooze button hitting ways. Or, create an image of round the clock productivity. Perhaps you have heard of the automated email being sent by at an ungodly time of the night. Get some work done that you need to send out to some coworkers. Instead of sending it at during normal hours, try sending it out at around midnight. Of course you will need remote connectivity for this. Call someone at home and ask them something about a project. These are just some examples of how you can create a aura of constant productivity.

7. Your coworkers think you’re unethical. You must be in management. Good work. Try to cover up better or do a better job of cleaning up your messes. You’re slipping and if you don’t straighten up you’re gonna get sacked soon.

8. Your coworkers think you’re not a team player. Must be a reason for it. You can try following the advice in the article, but the problem is probably that you’re an ass and there’s not much of a solution for that.

The truly galling and outrageous aspect of all of this is that managers now react as if they have been hurt, literally shocked and appalled at the unwillingness of some former coders to write code once again. Failing to see the hypocrisy of their stance, when they deliver the axe to those whose coding jobs have been outsourced to India, they use the needs of the business as their excuse. However, when the tables are turned and the American coders now embittered with their chosen profession avoid or openly refuse to code, project managers act as if they have been the victims of the ultimate betrayal. To them I say, reap what you have sown. The feelings of betrayal that you feel can only infinitesimally compare to the feelings brought by the commoditization of the programmer.

The bottom line is this. YOU wanted to hire cheap programmers in India or wherever the hell else you thought you could get a better deal. And now with some reports showing that at least 50% of all outsourcing engagements fail, you’re looking for us to come back and pull your hides out of the fire. Well, woe is me I feel so sorry for you. Now its going to cost you more than if had you stayed with us all along. Why? Because now I want even more money to sit in a cube and write code and because now, I’m pissed.

In a commercial that has been getting a good amount of airplay lately, IBM has cast an individual whose character name is Ari. In the commercial, Ari’s character plays the role of a sort of technical lead type. He then turns to an African American IBM help desk attendant for advice on prototyping. The interesting thing about Ari is that it appears that Ari’s alternate persona is that of the Amazing Racist. Yes, that’s right, IBM has cast an individual who creates videos of himself making fun of and insulting people of various races and ethnicities. To see for yourself, take a look at a couple of examples of the Amazing Racist’s work and just in case you’re at work, be aware that they contain profanity.

Amazing Racist Makes fun of Asians here:

http://www.starterupsteve.com/video/amazingracist-asian.html

Amazing Racist dresses up as a kkk member here:

http://www.starterupsteve.com/video/amazingracist-kkk.html

You can view the IBM commercial here:

http://www-5.ibm.com/e-business/uk/tv_spot/medias/qt/testing_hr.mov?ca=ebod_uk&me=w&met=txt&re=about/uk&tactic=305AX03W

The questions that come to mind after viewing all of this are many. Is IBM aware that they have cast the Amazing Racist? Should IBM care? Obviously this is not an issue of freedom of speech. It’s clear that IBM has every right to place Ari in their commercial and that Ari has every right to make ridiculous videos. However, is it in good taste for a company that most likely has very progressive policies on inclusion and diversity to have this type of association?

I’ve seen a lot of comments on this and they range from amusement to outrage. Yes, some people think it is funny. I have to admit that there were a couple of times when I laughed. However, does the fact that it may be funny make it right? It all seems like a gray area sometimes, but it does make for lively discussion. I’d like to see more discussion before I express my opinion.

C69

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Welcome to the first installment of Commodore 69’s reviews on the new site. Today we will be reviewing Labatt Blue beer. Labatt Blue beer is a Canadian Pilsener style lager beer with 5.0% alcohol.

So, down to the nitty gritty. Labatt Blue is for the most part an amusing beer. It’s as if someone took some water added some grass, a little booze and then bottled it. What possible use could this have? Well, after a long hard hockey game or any other physical activity, Labatts does the trick nicely. It goes down easy and doesn’t get you all crocked after the first 5 or 6. So, if your at the bar ready to tie one on, order a Guinness or a Newcastle, but if you just played hockey, went for a run, or got into a wrestling match with one o dem der Wisconsin dairy cows, then a Labatts Blue might be just the ticket.

Pros: Easy drinking so u can go hard, slam down 8 of these, and still remain fairly coherent.

Cons: You’re gonna have to drink at least 12 of these if you wanna get housed baby. Also, if you want full bodied flavor in your beer, then go elsewhere.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Labatts Blue Beer, Sig Sauer P 229 not included.